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Frequently asked questions answered for Swinger Guide
Alternative Lifestyle Glossary
| 9½ WEEKS | A "code phrase" sometimes found in personal ads used to indicate an interest in SM, particularly male-dominant/female-submissive SM. |
| AC/DC | Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual. |
| ADULT | Euphemism for pornographic. |
| ALL CULTURES | Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see CULTURE) |
| AMERICAN CULTURE | Man on top, the missionary position. |
| ANAL SEX | Anal intercourse; see Greek, Greek Culture. |
| ANALINGUS | Oral contact or stimulation of the anus of one partner by kissing, licking, or sucking of the other. |
| ANIMAL GAMES | A form of role-playing in which one person pretends to be some kind of animal often a dog or horse. |
| ANIMAL TRAINING | SM term; Sexual activity with animals, usually dogs and women; Bestiality |
| ARTS | Euphemism for fetishes; Cultures |
| ASSERTIVE FANTASIES | SM "code phrases" sometimes found in personal ads to indicate dominate interests. |
| B&D or B/D | Bondage and discipline; use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a "master" to his/her "slave". (see BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE) |
| BBW | Big Beautiful Woman; Referring to women that may not be their ideal weight, but are still very attractive. |
| BESTIALITY | (see ANIMAL TRAINING) |
| BI | Bisexual, Versatile (see AC/DC) |
| BI-CURIOUS | A Male or Female who is interested in trying same-sex activities. |
| BIZARRE | Unusual sexual desires |
| BLUE | SM term; A safe word often used to indicate "please, no more of that particular activity." |
| BONDAGE | A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered dominant while the person being bound is considered submissive. |
| BOTTOM | A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist. Many people use the word "bottom" to mean specifically someone who enjoys being given various sensations, as opposed to a "submissive", who enjoys being controlled. |
| BROWN SHOWERS | SM term; The act of one person defecating on another in an erotic context. |
| CAN ENTERTAIN | Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging. |
| CAN TRAVEL | Advertiser willing to travel to your home to swing. |
| CANING | A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood. |
| CAT | Cat-o-nine tails. A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are braided. |
| CBT | Cock and Ball Torture. |
| CHEATING | Sexual activity with others without spouse’s knowledge and/or consent. |
| CINCH LOOP | A bondage technique in which coils of rope, or other bondage material, are wound between wrists after they have already been encircled by other bondage material. Cinch loops can closely regulate tightness. |
| CLEAN | Free of sexually transmitted diseases. |
| CLOSED DOOR | (see CLOSED SWINGING) |
| CLOSED SWINGING | Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house. Provides a maximum of privacy. |
| CLOSET SWINGER | A person who hides the fact that he/she is a swinger. (see DISCREET) |
| COUPLE | In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes. |
| CPL | (see COUPLE) |
| CULTURE | Euphemism for Fetish or Arts. |
| CUNNILINGUS | Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth. |
| D/D Free | Drug and Disease Free |
| D&S | Dominance & submission. |
| DILDO | An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus. |
| DIRECTOR | The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally called a Manager. |
| DISCIPLINE | A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings. |
| DISCREET OR DISCRETION | Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity. |
| DOCILE | Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE). |
| DOM | A male dominant. |
| DOMESTIC TRAINING | Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature. |
| DOMINANT | A sexual partner in control of a willing submissive partner. |
| DOMME | A female dominant. |
| ENGLISH CULTURE | Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning. |
| EXHIBITIONIST | Behaviour in which an individual experiences sexual arousal or pleasure from displaying his/her body. Enjoys being watched. |
| F | Female |
| FELLATIO | Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth. |
| FEMDOM | SM play that is female-dominate in theme. |
| FETISH | Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy. |
| FISTING | The practice of inserting the entire hand into the vagina or anus. |
| FIVE-F | Common SM emergencies: freakouts, falls, fainting, failure (electrical power failure) and fire. |
| FLAGELLATION | The general act of one person striking another, usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking, paddling, and whipping. |
| FRENCH CULTURE | Oral-genital sexual activity; see Fellatio, Cuntilingus. |
| FUN AND GAMES | Euphemism for sexual activity. |
| GAY | A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian. |
| GBM - Gay Black Male | |
| GENEROUS | Refers to money for sex. |
| GREEK CULTURE | Anal-penile intercourse. |
| GROUP ROOM | Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see MATROOM). |
| GROUP SEX | Swinging; Sexual activity between three or more people. |
| GWM | Gay White Male |
| HARD CORE | A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected. |
| HARD SWINGING | (see HARD CORE) |
| HEAD | Oral-genital sexual activity; "Giving head" (see French) |
| HEDONIST | Someone who lives for pleasure. |
| HETEROSEXUAL | Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex. |
| HOMOSEXUAL | Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY) |
| HORNY | Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure. |
| HUMILIATION | Activities which cause a person feels sham, embarrassment, or degradation. |
| HUNG | Refers to a man with a large penis. |
| HWP | Height-Weight Proportionate; Someone who is at their ideal body weight. |
| INDOOR | Swinging activities in general. |
| INDOOR SPORTS | (See INDOOR) |
| INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP | Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. |
| IRL | In Real Life; Used in ads or online chat. |
| ISO | In Search Of; Used in ads. |
| KAMIKAZE | A submissive who deliberately seeks out possible dangerous practices or partners. This type of person in not particularly respected within the SM community. |
| KEY WORD | SM term; An alternative term for a safeword. |
| LEATHER | A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing or touching of leather or leather garments. |
| LESBIAN | A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women. (see GAY) |
| LTR | Long Term Relationship. |
| MARITAL AIDS | Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others. |
| MASOCHISM | Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others. |
| MASTER/SLAVE | Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship. (see B&D, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE) |
| MATROOM | Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see GROUP ROOM). |
| MEET FOR PLEASURE | Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. |
| MENAGE A' TROIS | Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. (see THREESOME, TRIAD) |
| MORESOMES | More than three people in a swinging interaction. (see GROUP SEX) |
| MUNCH | A gathering of SM people, usually in a restaurant, for the purpose of socialization and chat. An Internet term, although it is spreading into general use. |
| MBC | Married Black Couple |
| MBiC | Married Bisexual Couple |
| MWC | Married White Couple |
| NASCA | The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become. Levels of members Affiliate Club, General, Associate and Institutional for swing clubs and magazines, general swinging community, media and institutions of learning and research. |
| NEWCOMERS | New people in swinging; First-timers. |
| NONSMOKER | Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes. |
| NOVICE | A person just beginning to learn about and explore SM. Often treated with special kindness and attention by the more experienced members of the community. |
| OFF-PREMISE | No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers. |
| OPEN DOOR | (see OPEN SWINGING) |
| OPEN SWINGING | A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room. A minimum of privacy. |
| ORAL-GENITAL | (see FRENCH, CUNNILINGUS, FELLATIO, HEAD) |
| ORANGE | SM term; A safeword sometimes used to indicate "I’m getting close to my limits" or sometimes "let’s rest for a while." |
| ORGY | Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; Complete abscence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex. |
| PARTY | Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging. |
| PARTY CLOTHES | Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party. The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play. |
| PARTY HOUSE (Western US) | A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. |
| PLAY ROOM | SM term; A room especially set up for SM play. |
| PASSIVE | Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging. (see DISCIPLINE) |
| PHOTO | Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others. |
| PHOTOGRAPHY | Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs. |
| P/P | Photo and phone number (used in personal ads). |
| PRO | Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escorts. |
| RECREATIONAL SWINGER | A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion; not interested in forming any long term friendship or emotional attachment. |
| RED | SM term; A safeword indicating "stop completely and immediately." The calling of this word usually is a signal that ends the session entirely. |
| RESTRAINT | Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments. |
| ROMAN | Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc (see ROMAN CULTURE) |
| ROMAN CULTURE | Sexual orgies |
| RUBBER | Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D. |
| SAFE | Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy; Naturally or surgically sterile. |
| SAFE WORD | A specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are "really" becoming too intense for the person. Usually used by the submissive, but may also be used by the dominant. "Safeword" itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention. |
| S.A.S.E. | Self-addressed stamped envelope. |
| SBF | Single Black Female |
| SBiF | Single Bisexual Female |
| SBM | Single Black Male |
| SCAT | A slang term for feces (shit). |
| SESSION | A slang term for an SM encounter. |
| SGL | (see SINGLE) |
| S&M or S/M | Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM). |
| SINGLE | A swinger without a partner, does not refer to marital status. |
| SOCIAL | A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social, but privately arranged swinging may follow a social. |
| SOCIAL SWING CLUB | A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important. |
| SODOMY | Non-coital, especially anal or oral, copulation with either an opposite sex or same sex partner. |
| SOFT SWINGERS | Couples who only have intercourse with their own partner. No swapping for intercourse. |
| SOFT SWINGING | The term used to describe same-room sex, watching/being watched, or any sexual encounter up to, but not including intercourse, with someone other than your spouse. The first experience for many couples some type of soft-swinging. |
| SRS | Same Room Sex |
| STD | Sexually Transmitted Disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem. |
| STR or STR8 | (see STRAIGHT) |
| STRAIGHT | Any person who is not interested in engaging in homosexual activity or A person who does not use drugs; also used by swingers to denote non-swinging people. |
| SUBMISSIVE | Passive, wishes to be dominated (see Passive). |
| SWAPPING | Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity. |
| SWEDISH CULTURE | Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another. |
| SWF | Single White Female |
| SWING MAGAZINE | A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community. |
| SWINGING | An alternative lifestyle for consenting adults who enjoy social, recreational sexual activities with others, most often on a couple-to-couple basis, with full knowledge and mutual consent of both partners; single men and women are sometimes involved. |
| SWINGING LIFESTYLE | Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships. |
| SWINGING MARRIAGE | Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals. |
| SWM | Single White Male |
| TAN | Tested Antibody Negative for HIV virus(AIDS). |
| THREESOME | Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. (see Menage a Trois) |
| TICKET | A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the male to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing. |
| TOP | A slang term for a dominant and/or sadist. |
| TOYS | Sexual aids (see MARITAL AIDS) |
| TRANSEXUAL | Individual who has undergone conversion from one gender to another through surgery and hormone treatments; or one who is in the process of gender conversion. |
| TRANSVESTITE | A person who receives sexual gratification by wearing clothes identified with the opposite sex; not necessarily homosexual. |
| TRAVEL | (see CAN TRAVEL) |
| TRIAD | Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome. |
| TRIOLISM | Used in personal ads to indicate desire for threesomes. This is a common but confusing usage (see TRIAD) |
| TUBAL LIGATION | Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation. |
| UTOPIAN SWINGER | A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals. |
| VANILLA | Non-SM. Conventional sex is often referred to as vanilla sex. |
| VASECTOMY | Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to artificially sterilize a male. |
| VERSATILE | Bisexual. (see AC/DC) |
| VIBRATOR | Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another. |
| VOLUPTUOUS | Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips. |
| VOYEUR | A person who enjoys watching others in sexual acts. |
| VOYEURISM | Sexual gratification by watching or peeping at others engaged in sexual activity. |
| WATERSPORTS | Usually refers to engaging in pee play (peeing on someone or having them pee on you), can also refer to the use of enemas in sexual activities. |
| YELLOW | SM term; A safeword often used to indicate "lighten up" or "let’s stop or slow down for a while" |
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